The Great Escape to Camp Half Blood
by Reggie Schiechati
Summary: 11 demigods. 3 satyrs. Will they make it to Camp Half Blood?
1. I Fight Evil with Nauseous Gas

**I don't own PJO**

Chapter One

I Fight Evil with Nauseous Gas

Holly

My life changed 17 days ago. If on that very day, December 12th, I would've faked sick or something, who knows what I'd be doing. Eating bon-bons? Or maybe I'd be dead.

It all started on the last day of school until winter break. The bell rang and I was very happy, because honestly I've never done well in school.

One reason I do badly in school is because of my ADHD and Dyslexia. If I had a knife and could stab ADHD and Dyslexia, then I would not think twice. Another reason is because I go to Wilkoki Academy, a brownstone boarding school for people with problems in Glendale, Arizona, which I got into by stealing things (it's not my fault people are stupid!) Honestly, I don't think I learned a single thing there except that there is such a thing as an evil teacher. (I hope Ms. C. isn't listening.)

Anyway, I went to my dorm after school and packed my stuff to go home in Flagstaff, Arizona. My flight was in 4 hours. I couldn't wait.

I guess my smile must've shown, because my best friend and roomate, Miles, said, "Excited?"

"Yup." I couldn't wait to get home, to see my mom, who was patient with me even though I've got kicked out of 5 schools in the past 5 years. One year I stole all the schools copies of a book (easily) and then tore the page that said that a C was a bad grade, because that made me bad 'cause that's the best grade I have, and the school kicked me out. One year I was trying to prank one of the teachers, Mr. H., but he got really mad that I replaced his coffee with melted Christmas ornaments and turned into something…awful.

I'd rather not talk about my experience with Mr. H., okay?

"There…that's it," said Miles. He had already finished packing, his folded clothes neatly tucked into his suitcase. He was so neat and tidy, it was like he was the girl and I was the boy. I'm probably the messiest person on Earth. My clothes were shoved into my suitcase and I could only fit ½ my clothes into it.

"Can you pack for me?" I asked, for the zillionth time. I did not know how he could fold all these clothes, and I didn't want to go home with only half my stuff.

"Fine. Just don't prank me or anything," said Miles. I was a well-known pranker around my school, and my pranks came around a lot when I asked people to do favors for me.

"There's nothing in there. Relax," I told him, though Miles cautiously inspected my suitcase before putting anything in it.

All of a sudden, there was a knocking on the door. Knocking turned into banging. Banging turned into pounding.

"Okay, okay. I'll get it," I said, reaching the doorknob. But before I could get it, the door broke, and I saw a ferocious looking, giant, Mrs. C.

Mrs. C. was the meanest teacher I've ever had. She was my math teacher, and, like I said, she proved that teachers COULD be evil. Her eyes were creepy, and always seemed to be following you – even if you were out of her classroom. I probably could've had a decent C in her class, but I had an F, because she marked every question wrong on my tests, even one's I got right. And her mouth was always watering like she had rabies or something. I decided not to ask her, because I knew that teachers like Mrs. C. had very low anger management levels. I caught her looking at my leg once, like she wanted to eat it or something. And, I'm sorry, but she had an odor that could make you cry. It smelled like death.

"Mrs. C., why are you so UGLY?" Miles and I asked simultaneously.

Which probably wasn't a good thing to say.

Mrs. C. lunged at us. Her teeth were yellow, and her eyes blended together.

"Mrs. C., you seriously need a dentist," I told her.

Which, again, probably wasn't a good thing to say.

Mrs. C. started to grow bigger. And bigger. And bigger. She was so big, her head crashed into the dorm ceiling.

And her eyes…what was with them. It looked like there was…one of them? One eye? How on Earth could she have one eye?

As if reading my mind, Mrs. C. said, "I'M NOT HUMAN! AND NEITHER ARE YOU!"

The comparison was frightening.

"AND I'M GONNA EAT YOU!" she yelled so loud, someone must've heard, and I was going to go out to the hall to get some help, but then I looked out the hall and saw that everyone was frozen. They hadn't moved since the second I'd walked out, not even blinked. They seemed lost in time.

I went back inside the dorm.

Inside, it was not going so well. Big - Mrs. C had taken Miles into her hand and looked like she was about to eat him when I yelled and said, "Stop! Cannibalism is bad!"

"Like I said, 'I'm not human!" Mrs. C. yelled at me like I was some throw – your – anger – into device. She seriously needed one of those.

But if she wasn't human, what was she?

Mrs. C.

C.

Cyclops.

It all made sense: the eye, the enormous height, the eating – a – human. But I was hopeless. What hope did I have against a Cyclops? How could I protect Miles?

Then I thought of a plan. Not a great one, not a good one, just an okay-ish one. But okay-ish was better than awful, terrible, or bad, right?

"I'm gonna eat Miles, and I'm gonna eat you!" sang the evil Cyclops lady.

She was about to eat Miles when I said, "Hm… I think I'd feel better if you looked into my suitcase. You know, to make sure you haven't hid any more Cyclops in there."

"But I haven't!" blurted the Mrs. C / Cyclops

"Yeah, right," I said, hoping I sounded doubtful.

"I haven't!" yelled the lady.

"Just…LOOK IN THERE!" yelled Miles from her hands. Part of me realized that Miles might know my plan.

For some reason, I felt compelled to do what Miles said, and I'm guessing the Cyclops did too, because she said, "Fine. I'll prove it to you." She went to my suitcase, with half my clothes folded into by Miles, opened the zipper, and said, "Look. No more Cyclops."

"Dig deeper."

"Fine." She dug deeper. "See, I told you –"

But it was too late. A wave of nauseous gas I'd prepared myself to prank Miles earlier went straight into her, and I'm guessing it killed monsters, because she evaporated into some dust or something and disappeared.

Unfortunately, she dropped Miles and he fell 15 feet from the air into the dorm floor – which, unfortunately, was granite.

I thought Miles would pass out, but he just looked at me for a couple of seconds, that handsome short blond hair and almond brown eyes. I swear, someone cursed him with good looks – I'd never say it to his face, but he's pretty attractive…

Miles looked at me for a couple of seconds. "That was so cool! You beat up a Cyclops with nauseous gas! I want to see how you did that!"

"Um…" I thought for a couple seconds. "I just did it."

"Well, thanks for saving my life. Mrs. C. was going to eat me!"

"Yeah, I can't believe that for a year we were taught by a Cyclops and we didn't know it."

I was scared. But I was also proud. I, Holly Emerald Reshem, had defeated a Cyclops with a prank.

I bet I could be a hero one day. Holly Reshem: pranking hero.


	2. I Make a Deal With the God of Thieves

Chapter 2

I Make a Deal (with the God of Thieves)

Holly

We headed downtown.

It had been 10 minutes since the Cyclops attacked us, 8 since I killed her with nauseous gas. I guess Miles wasn't very happy – the guy had fallen 10 feet into concrete – but I did NOT want to go back to my dorm. Guess who'd they probably blame for the dorm's destruction. Let me give you a clue: mine.

"Wait up!" some one's voice came from behind us. At first I thought it was Mile's, but it was groggier. I realized it was Seth's – a kid in my class.

"Um…hi, Seth," I said awkwardly. It was kind of strange. We had never been close, or even really friends. He walked with a limp, I realized, and wore a hat. Weird. You spend two seconds with some one and notice things you never knew about them before.

"I need to tell you guys something," he told us, and shoved us all into the nearest private space – which, unfortunately, was a porta-potty.

"I have some news to tell you," he said.

"In a porta-potty?"

At first he said nothing. Then he started to take off his pants.

"Eww…Gross!"

Then I realized what he was talking about. His…his legs…his legs…

His legs were those of a GOATS.

Miles fainted.

"You're…you're…you're a… you're a"-

-"satyr."

"Yeah…wait, if you were a satyr, wouldn't you have"-

He put off his hat, revealing two-

-"horns."

"Um…can we get out of here?" It was starting to feel very uncomfortable with the three of us in a tiny porta potty, and I've always been very claustrophobic.

"No. We need privacy."

And then, suddenly, there was a gasp from Seth the satyr. Miles woke up, and then he passed out again. I felt bathed in a green light, and I got the feeling something was over my head.

"Um…Holly?" Seth showed me a mirror. Above my head was blazing green light, forming an image – a caduceus. Then the image slowly faded.

"What just happened?" I asked.

"You've been…claimed"-

"By a god." Some other guy just APPEARED there. He had a business suit, Nikes, and an iPhone. It was started to feel very claustrophobic in that porta potty.

"Who are you? What do you mean? Why are we still in this porta potty?" I kept asking questions, because everything was very unclear.

The weird man who appeared in the porta potty looked tired, strange, and a bit concerned. "You'll know soon enough. Seth, can you tell them?"

Seth shook Miles to wake him up. "Okay, this is gonna sound weird"-

-"'Weird' is my middle name. Well, besides 'Emerald.'"

-"But the Greek gods are alive nowadays, ruling where power is strongest, which now is Western Civilization."

"That's…not possible."

"Is it? How do you explain the Cyclops, or our national symbol being the symbol of Zeus? How do you explain me being a satyr?"

"Um…magic."

"Nope."

"Fine. I believe you." Then, to myself, I muttered, "I must be insane."

Thunder rumbled.

"Um…well, I have to make this quick," continued Seth. "Do you know who your dad is?"

I remembered my mom telling me stories about my dad. "Um…accordingly, he was kind, gentle, hyper."

The other man who was just standing there in the porta-potty made a look, like he knew my mom.

"Do you know who he _was_? What was his name?"

"No, but I know his last name: Reshem."

"Yeah, I hate to tell you this, but your dad's the Greek god, Hermes."

"Can we PLEASE talk about this out of a porta potty?" asked Miles. Of all the people squished inside, he seemed the quietest and I almost forgot he was here. Which was odd. He's very easy to notice, usually.

"Well, we can't talk about it in a public bathroom, 'cause those are gender-based and we have two boys and one girl."

"Three," said the man standing there.

"Wait, sorry if this is rude, but why are you here?" I asked.

"I'm your dad," he told me (which, I think, was too abrupt.)

"You're…Hermes?" Under other circumstances, I would've chewed him out for not being with me or my mom for 12 years. But I got the idea that he had been pretty busy, if he had been delivering messages all day long, and I was surprised he had time when I was born.

"Yeah. I am prepared to offer you a deal," he told me.

I can't lie that I didn't want to impress my dad, so I asked, "Okay…what do we have to do?"

"So…there's a group of demigods up north in Seattle, venturing for Camp Half Blood just like you."-

"What's Camp Half Blood."

-"A safe camp from monsters for demigods like you in New York." I remembered something about my mom – she said my dad wanted me to go to a camp, but I didn't know my dad was a god then. "Anyway, they'll help you get there, and I'll help you get to them, if you do me a favor."

"What do you want us to do?"

He pulled out a caduceus, which, I guess, was his symbol. There was a snakes wrapped around it.

_Hello, Demigod. _The snake said.

Wait…snakes could _talk?_

Of course they can, I thought. If Greek gods exist, snakes can talk.

"I usually have two snakes with me. Sadly, George has not made an appearance. I lost him in Phoenix, I think, and I need you to fetch him back."

Fetch a god's snake? Sure, why not. If it'll help us get to some other demigods that will help us get to a place free of monsters, I'd do it.

"I'll do it." I smiled, and shook my dads hand.

For a second, he looked proud. Then a wave of realization shook his face.

"What am I doing, sending you on a task without a weapon?" For a moment, I thought he'd say, "Never mind," or something like then. But instead, he looked at me and said, "here." He handed me a spear, 5 feet long, with a silver blade. It fit in my hand perfectly and seemed very lightweight. Then I realized when I let go of it it turned into gas, and that as my hand held the blade firmer, it was more solid.

"It's name is Greek for 'Matter,'" my dad told me. Then, very abruptly, he disappeared.

"Can we _please _get out of the porta potty?" asked Miles.

"Okay," said Seth the satyr. As we were getting out, he said, "Ready to find a missing snake?"

"Yup. Let's do it!"


	3. Mr Potato Heads Come to Life

Chapter 3

Mr. Potato Heads Come to Life

Penny

I looked at my two younger siblings in the hospital waiting room – Reggie, a little 4 year old kid with short messy brown hair, a big smile (with dimples), and a shirt that said "This is my Happy Shirt," and had Mr. Happy from "Mr. Men" smiling, and Gwen, a 2 year old with a little curly brown hair on her face, freckles, and dimples.

Not that I looked different. I'm just a 6 year old brunette girl, basically a big Gwen with wavier hair. But I felt different – of my two siblings, I was the only one who knew the situation we were in. Our mom was pregnant, and that's why we were in the hospital.

The thing was, I didn't even _know_ my mom.

According to my dad, she'd left when I was ½ a year old, but they'd meet once a year, and my dad would go to some secret place and hire a sitter for us.

Not that I cared, really. We were happy. Just look at our smiles.

"Penny, I'm bored." It was Gwen, with brown hair and dimples. Looking at her made me happy.

"Do you want to play with some of the toys we brought?"

"Okay!" We started coloring, playing with Mr. Potato Heads, and even Barbies. We never really thought about it, but when we played with toys, that's when we were happiest.

Suddenly, there was a bang. Every hair in my small body stood up. I sensed danger.

Apparently, so did my siblings, because Reggie said, "Is everyone okay?"

"I'm sure they'd tell us if some one was in trouble." Phew, it's _hard_ being the oldest when you're only 6. You have so much responsibility. And I'm not exactly a big, smart kid. "Do you want to play with the Mr. Potato Heads more?"

We took out the Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head Silly Suitcase, and the rare Mr. Potato Head 80th Anniversary Celebration Spud, and attached noses, mustaches, ears, and hats to make lots of spuds.

Suddenly, the spud Reggie was working on started moving. Which was really, really creepy.

"Hey! Bad Mr. Potato Head! Don't move!" said Reggie. "Not until I attach your arms!"

Then mine started moving too. Even my mini Mr. Potato Heads started moving, too.

"What's happening?" asked Reggie. Again, it sucked to be the oldest because I didn't have an answer.

Then something even creepier happened. One of the spuds said, "Do not fear us, children of happiness. We are your allies"-

"What does 'allies' mean? I'm only in 1st grade…"

"and part of Eutychia's essence. We are here to help you"-

"Who is Eutychia?"

"on your long journey as your guides."

"Can we play with you?"

"Not yet."

"I thought toys liked being played with. Haven't you seen Toy Story?"

"We do, and…yes. But we have news."

"What news?"

They didn't answer. Because right then, the door opened and the nurse stepped out, and the Mr. Potato Heads turned to normal. Her face was white in shock, like she'd seen something abnormal. "The doctor…he turned into…something…" she was talking to us, but it was obvious the details were too scary. "Your mom escaped…somehow…She, like disappeared or something. Your dad…died," she gave us lots of sympathy (impressed by the wide vocabulary for a first grader?) "Anyway, here's your brother."

She tossed us an adorable baby. He had no hair and was drooling, but he had a smile that made up for all war in the world, and his eyes were big and brown and innocent.

"He looks like me," said Reggie. Which was true, he looked very much like a baby of Reggie.

"Uh…I have to go…" said the nurse, in a definitely awkward moment. "By the way, don't hold him like that." She positioned him in my hands, and even though my dad was dead, I felt okay. She left, and at that moment, the Mr. Potato Heads turned back to life.

"Your brother has an awful fatal flaw," said one that Gwen had made. "He has a fear of violence. No matter. This will make up for it." A small sword, only 6 inches, came out of one of the Mr. Potato Heads. "Give this to your brother. It shall be his weapon. The rest of you shall get weapons soon enough. Now, to pack up…"

They cleaned up all the toys we brought to the hospital in 3 seconds. Then all the toys – and there were a lot; we brought every toy we owned – went into a small backpack, so small it fit on my back. One potato head told us, "This backpack is magical. It can fit anything that is loved, no problem. Even us," he said, and every other Mr. Potato Head went into the backpack. "Just keep one of us out of the backpack. We have the spirit of Eutychia in us, and we are your guide. Now, if I were you, I'd get out of the hospital.

We went out, but not before getting a Teddy Bear for my new baby brother, who loved it a lot, and for that we named him Teddy.


	4. Monsters vs Toys

**Thanks for the nice review! :D **

Chapter Four

Penny

Monsters vs. Toys

I guess if some one saw a 6 year old holding a baby, they would think that they were about to drop it and help them. I can understand that. But what I don't understand is why every pedestrian in the city of Seattle – and that's a big city – seemed to come to me and help me hold Teddy. Seriously, all I need is a stroller!

My siblings didn't mind. They loved the attention. And I guess I liked the feeling of support – like I had people to fall back on. But still, a lot had happened in the last couple of hours. My dad had died, my mom had escaped, both from some monster / doctor no one told me any details about. Also, my Mr. Potato Heads had come alive, from some "Eutychia's soul" thingy, and I got a magic things-that-are-loved backpack and Teddy got a yellow sword. Oh, and I got a new brother. Man, sometimes I wish I were older. This would make a whole lot more sense if I were smarter.

And here we were, on a street in Seattle, surrounded by a crowd of people.

" Ahh…he's so adorable!" said one teenager.

"Are you up for adoption?" asked another.

Teddy smiled, which made another bunch of teenage girls be like, "he's so cute," and stuff. Reggie had attracted a group of pre-teen girls who were like, "he's a baby Taylor Lautner!"

Reggie didn't seem to happy with them calling him a baby. "I'm a big boy!" he said, and to prove it, he showed that he wasn't sucking a pacifier like Teddy was.

Suddenly, a limousine pulled up the curb. It crashed into a bunch of trash cans, and scraped into the edge of the street. Everyone backed away, and one man was like, "Great Parking!" (sarcastically.) When the door opened, it was a face I couldn't quite make out. It seemed to be a man's face, but was a little like a serpent's…

"Thanks for ruining this perfect street!" said one guy.

"YOU'RE WORSE THAN A TEENAGE DRIVER!" said another.

"Hey!" said a bunch of teenagers.

"Shut up, poopfaces!" the man/serpent said. No one seemed to notice that he seemed like a serpent. "I'm here to take these four"- he pointed at us –"as I am their father."

"No one says 'as' anymore, jerk!"

The serpent-guy touched that guy, and he died immediately, but no one looked at him. Everyone looked at the guy next to him like he murdered him.

"Get in, children!" he said.

I knew he wasn't my dad – according to the nurse, my dad was dead – but that didn't stop me from not getting into the limo. I saw what he did to the guy who called him a "jerk." I didn't need him touching me, much less my siblings.

As I sat in the limo's leather seats, with my backpack across my shoulder, I gave Teddy the sword the Mr. Potato Head's gave him. I had a feeling he knew how to use it, and he'd need to use it soon, because the fraud-dad-serpent thingy had given me the unmistakable feeling I was in danger.

"Um…where are you taking us?" I asked.

Suddenly, the ½ serpent ½ human turned into fully a serpent. "UNDERWORLD, HO!" he yelled.

"What, are you crazy?"

"No, I'm the Baliskos, so it should be easy to kill a couple of BABIES!

"Number ONE, I'm NOT a baby. I'm FOUR years old!" Reggie's voice came from the other side of the limo. "That's a long time, and Number TWO, what the heck is a Baliskos?"

"I touch you, you die."

"Do your powers work on Mr. Potato Heads?"

"They work on Mr.'s, Potato's, and Heads."

"Can you read me a story?" asked Gwen.

"NO! Story's are for LOSERS, like YOU, who are about to DIE!"

Suddenly, I remembered Teddy's sword. This was the only way we could survive this.

"Teddy, here," I said, handing him the sword. Then to Reggie and Gwen, I said, "Get out the Potato Heads!"

Reggie and Gwen started putting the Mr. Potato Heads out of the backpack. The Baliskos said, "Foolish Mortals! I can kill Potatoes with a finger! I am superior to all!"

"You can kill Potatoes with a finger? Cool!"

I noticed we were still in a limo. If we survived this, we'd be in BIG trouble with the limo company.

Reggie and Gwen had taken all of the Mr. Potato Heads out of the backpack now. "Foolish Babies"-

"I'm not a baby! I'm a big boy!"

"I am the Baliskos! I can kill all plants with one touch, Including Potatoes! To show, he touched one of our Mr. Potato Heads. But it didn't die.

"What? Impossible!" He touched it again and again, but it didn't die. (Don't tell him, but they aren't real potatoes. They're plastic. Ssh!) With him distracted, Teddy stabbed him in the tail with the sword, and something very odd happened.

He seemed to be passing out. All the badness, all the evil, seemed to be draining out of him, leaving a half asleep Baliskos with a heart of goodness.

He seemed to be fully awake. I half-expected him to be back to his same old evil self, but he wasn't.

"Hello. I'm GOOD! Do you want to be my friend?" said the Baliskos.

"Uh…okay…" I said. It was very creepy. One second he's trying to kill you, the next he's proposing friendship.

He must've seen the confusion of the day, because the good-Baliskos said, "The Greek gods exist. And more, your mom's one of them."

"Which one?"

"I can't tell. You should probably leave."

"Yes…we should."

And we left the limo and the Baliskos. We were in Seattle, with no direction of where to go. Finally, one of the Mr. Potato Heads (the rest were in the backpack) said, "2 heroes shall come to your aide soon, but first you must get a stroller for Teddy."

So, we went to our house. It seemed like it had been an eternity since we'd been there (though it was only 2 hours.) The backpack collected all our toys – Beanie Babies, stuffed animals, crafts.

Lastly, we remembered the stroller. "You will go on a long journey," said the Mr. Potato Head, "and the baby cannot walk. So…you'll need a stroller." We got a double stroller in case Gwen or Reggie ever got tired, and then we left our house.

275 4th Street, Seattle. I had a feeling I'd be leaving it for a while.

Gwen sat at the behind of the double stroller. "What do we do now?"

"Go away from the city," said the Prophet-Mr.-Potato-Head. "Soon you will find 2 allies, but first…here are your weapons."

The Mr. Potato Head guy gave Gwen a knife, Reggie a slingshot, and me a sword, like Teddy's except it wasn't bright yellow.


End file.
